Popularity, Embracing who you are

Popularity, Embracing who you are

Popularity only matters if you like the person you see in the mirror. Don't change to please someone or be liked by many. The opinion of those true friends who help become a better version of yourself is the one that should matter. 

This week I had to prepare for my examination which is why this post is a week late. The night before the exam I put in an episode of Girl meets world as usual and after watching it I thought “This is something I wish I would have learned much younger in my life back when I was in middle/high school but I learned through experience and growing up”. The theme for this week was popularity, self discovery and being proud of who you are. Riley has never been the most popular girl in school and when party season roles around the school she is not expecting to get invited to any of them but she does wish she could for once get invited even if she has to change. Her friend Maya on the other hand always gets invited cause according to Riley she is normal and not as eccentric or weird as she is. However, Maya does make an important comment and tells her that she should be careful what she wishes for as it can be a sword hanging over your head. As it turns out Riley does receive and invitation to a party but it is nothing like the party she expected.

One of her best friends Farkle is kind of a nerdy guy according to everyone in the school and the party is his, Maya was in on it she wanted Riley to learn the popularity only matter if she is happy with who she is. Farkle invited her because one of the things that makes Riley special and popular among her group of friends (Maya, Farkle and Lucas) is her positivity, her quirkiness. Riley thinking that for the first time ever she is popular she becomes the queen of nerds. She changes her hair, her speech, her outfit, starts wearing glasses, she goes over the top with her quirky and nerdy side that made her special.

Riley’s mother, Topanga Lawrence, in this episode had a similar character development arc. She works as a lawyer but she doesn’t get to choose her cases, she in many cases is on the wrong side, defending the “bad” guy. In addition, she has become boring. Back when she was in “boy meets world” she was a little bit like Riley as in she was eccentric, a little bit of an environmentalist, spiritualist and driven to win for the good guy or for the small guy. To fight for those who are unable to fight for themselves or need the support to do so which is what got her through law school. Looking at herself in the mirror she asks her younger self what happened to her and who has she become. Her firm wants to shut down the little pie shop in her neighbourhood but she loves the people that live there, that work there, the positivity they bring to the community and the ability to unite them. Back when she was in high school she would have immediately jumped to help the owner of the shop. Being who she was with all her eccentricity helped her found love, she is happily married with a loving family, find the passion to get her career and is living a good life. So she decides to get back to being her by defending the shop owners against her firm, by changing clothes wearing what she finds fit for her and not what people expect her to wear, suits. She has drive to do the right thing and in the end she does save the shop and makes her feel less empty and found the drive to continue what she loves to do improving her work in the firm.

When she gets back home she sees Riley and they are both looking very different. They ask each other who this is and why they look so different. Topanga says this is her, its always been her inside while Riley says that this is her being popular. Her mother asks her if that this is who she is on the inside and if she is happy with who she is. Riley comes to the realisation that she is not, this is an exaggerated from of her qualities, she is no longer Riley. Farkle does not invite Riley to his future party and he doesn’t look for her at school, stand by her side as always because she has changed too much. He tells her that this is not the person he and her friends love and they notice that even Riley is not happy with who she has become.

This is something quite important to consider as when we are young we are very impressionable, we don’t really know ourselves and we adapt to the environment around us. Change is a apart of life but the example of change seen by Riley in this episode is the one that we must avoid. Deviating who you are, changing 180 degrees who you are, is something we shouldn’t do not for our class mates, for our bosses, for our co-workers, for our team mates. Embracing who you are is great it can fill you with drive and happiness like Topanga but we have to be careful not to take those qualities that make us special, that makes us distinct, that allows to form friendships and become completely different people just for the sake of being liked or being popular. Popularity is something Riley found out she doesn’t want, at least the general belief of popularity. Being popular only matter among your friends. As long as she can spend time with your closest friends who love you and who care for you and are always there then that is all that must matter for you to be happy with yourself. If those people who are closest to you, who truly care you consider you “popular” then that is all that must matter.  The search for being popular and peer pressure is useless true friends are those that wont make you change for the worst and will allow you to become a better person and a better version of yourself. You dictate what is cool and what is popular for yourself. It makes us special not only for us but for those around us. One thing to consider is that Farkle’s attitude to become distant to her friend when she changed for the worst is something we should not do. We should be like Maya and stand next to our friends, help them get back to their path when they move away from there. Help them find and accept who they are. Never give up your beliefs and if you have try to find them back like Riley’s mother did, be proud of the person you are and the person you are working towards becoming.