New place, New you, New Me

New place, New you, New Me

Are you scared that in this new place you can't protect everyone like you used to?

Face to face with all these changes, what is it all about? Life is crazy but I know I can work it out. There is nothing scarier that starting a new phase in life, moving to a new place, discovering an unknown environment and with it the challenges that come to us. I have said that I identify with Farkle but this episode reminded me why my friends tell me I am more like Lucas. Nothing can put more pressure on friendships and our morale than a new chapter in our life. When we have spent a long time in one place like Riley and her friends we can feel invincible, we can feel like kings but kingdoms fall, massacres occur, everyone who thinks they are strong comes up against someone stronger. But the war has just begun. Riley and her friends enter high school; it is their first day fresh from middle school and as their luck has it they encounter the seniors. They send them to the “hole” and tell them that they need to stay there, they can’t explore the school until they are told so by them. Lucas is not having any of it, they tell him that his friends are nothing in this new place. The two senior girls give the nickname spunky to Maya, they tell them that the hallway is for people who have earned it, the senior football player tells him that when his friends tell them to do something they should do it. Lucas stands up to defend his friends like he always has, he can’t walk anywhere he wants because they say so, that is not okay.

Lucas: sorry guys

Farkle: it is not your fault, you can’t protect us

Lucas: I used to  

I know what that is like. I went to the same school for most of my life and when I got to high school I made a name for myself in it like everyone else. I was confident, I had grown as a person. I made my name in sports, in academics, I was king. I could protect my friends from anyone that wanted to hurt them, I stood up for the people that were different or for my friends who needed help, who were picked on. I stood up to raise my opinion, to question people who were wrong, to praise those who were right. I was Lucas, taking the responsibility of the world in my shoulders because I knew I could, I could protect myself and my friends or anyone. Then half way through 11^th grade I changed school. Change can be intimidating, all the power (more like the confidence to stand up for yourself and other gone). I was no longer first choice player in the football team, in the swimming team, in the classroom to answer questions. Lucas is no longer top athlete, there are people bigger, stronger than him. There are people smarter than Farkle. Certain people, like the seniors, feel the need to make us feel unwelcome in these new places. Some go as far as to cause great suffering in our lives through bullying telling us that we are nothing. They feel the need to “bring us down from our cloud”. In a way they are right, we must make a name for ourselves in this new place. Past successes won’t drive our future in these new places but they have taught us lessons and given us the tools to overcome these new obstacles. We may not be kings now, but we will. Farkle may not be the smartest kid in the school anymore and Lucas may not be the strongest so what we do is get stronger, get smarter, never let them discourage us because they are not better than us. One aspect of our lives does not define us. I was good at swimming, at football, at academics but it is the accumulation of these things and your values that make you great, that made you kings. Lucas is a great football player, strong but what made him great and respected was his loyalty, determination, kindness, fairness. We are something and we will teach them that we are something like Lucas did.

Riley: the seniors are older and more experience than us. They are trying to help us. (it is the wrong view that people in higher positions or that are older know more than us. Sometimes we know best and people that abuse their power should not be able to, we cannot let them.)

Lucas: They are making fun of us and we are letting them do it. We don’t even know our way around the school yet, why would we just let ourselves be parked in a hole

Riley: Ok so you just want us to throw ourselves into whatever is going on in this place and just see what happens?

Lucas: Yes, because you know what I call that, normal

These people that bully us feel the need to be recognised as superiors because no one else does, they are threatened, jealous of what we bring, don’t let words get to you. There is a reason why they pick on us and not someone else. You can’t let the change and the people who pick on you because you are new break you. They only win if they can manage to convince you that you are nothing. Remember what makes you great and work towards improving. Like Lucas stand up to them, defy them, show them that maybe they are kings now and you are not, but that will change. In these periods of change if you are bullied, if you are told you are not good enough, if you are told you have no place, never let it bring you down. Make a place like you have done in the past. Stand up like Lucas because there may be people stronger than you in one aspect of your life they are not better than you. Lucas confronts the seniors to protect his friends to protect himself to tell them that he has a place. If he is knocked down he will get right back up, confidence can’t be destroyed because then is when they win. Unlike them I didn’t learn my lesson until I came to university so I feel like it is important to say it.

Lucas: this is not going to be how I live my life in high school.

Riley makes a point that maybe they are trying to teach us something and as Maya puts it, she may have too much faith in people. It is alright to have faith in people but we know when we are being taken advantage of, or bullied or put down. In this new period if you are moving with your friends only together can you face the challenges and remind yourselves how great you are.

Girl/Boy Meets what it means to Love

Girl/Boy Meets what it means to Love

"I am young, and I am dumb, I do stupid things when it comes to love, and even if I always end up crying, you can’t blame a girl for trying"- Sabrina Carpenter

I have seen with the passage of time in the show Riley, Lucas, Farkle and Maya move on from middle school into high school where they face new challenges and learn new lessons; but one constant point where they trip and fall, where their perspective continuously changes, what gives them headaches is love and relationships. As a show aimed at teaching people life lessons and how to deal with situations, love and relationships is as complex and eternal as it gets. No matter how young or old we are, love is very complicated with many aspects to explore and we will never really understand it. Well, for this piece of writing in am going to try and make sense of it cause we all need advice when it comes to these types of things and I may not be the most adequate person to talk about this but hopefully you take something away from my ideas on this topic, who knows maybe you will find the answers in this piece.

Sabrina Carpenter plays Maya in this show as some of you may know but she is also a very talented singer and I think that no one puts into words what I, what most of you, go through when it comes to love so I am just going to quote from her song “Can’t Blame a Girl for Trying”: “Should have played it cool, instead I made a fool, all the things I do. Cause I am young, and I am dumb, I do stupid things when it comes to love, and even if I always end up crying, you can’t blame a girl for trying”. Farkle has always loved Riley and Maya, like friends, but at the same time wanting more than that and throughout the series he always tends to go, over the top when he is around them. He is the smartest kid in class but when he is around them he makes silly mistakes. Admit it, we have all been there. I was at the graduation of one of my cousins and this girl that I really liked was with her family and decided to go for pizza to the same restaurant we did and as it turns out we sat across the table from each other so I stood up to say hi and hit my head against the lamp, moment of brilliance really. This other time I was playing a football match at school and that girl decided to show up to to the game to see how I was doing and by trying to be all cool and give her a smile and wink from the pitch to the stands I got nutmeg. Just moments of brilliance really. As silly as it may seem this is how you know that you are head over heals about someone, when that person causes you to be distracted that is what I look for, what I wish for, that is the person that I want to be with, that is loving someone Riley does the same things when she is around Lucas, she makes terrible jokes, or stumbles on her words, just tries to get a smile out of him. When the first time that you two go out or are alone you are blown away by her smile and all you wish to do is get a laugh out of her, then is when you know she is the one, at least for that moment in time. Her happiness brings you happiness. That person is one in a million. I learned that when that person steals you heart, and you really fall for them, sometimes it causes you to do things that we wouldn't otherwise and sometimes even embarace ourselves but at least we know that person is worth a shot because it is who will make us happy. If the prospect of asking her out, or even talking to her alone makes you terrified or gets you incredible distracted and nervous, then is when you go for it. It makes you stop being the type of person who plays it safe all the time and take the risk that could change the rest of your life, love sometimes is a gamble, but it is worth taking if it is true. Many times it will end in heartbreak, in tears, but as Sabrina Carpenter puts it “u can’t blame [anyone] for trying” and a different person will come by at some points that makes you fall in love again.

Farkle is the character that I identify the most with especially when it comes to matters of the heart. There is a specific conversation that Farkle has with a girl who has a crush on him. And it just puts into words what I have felt love is. She asks him that if Riley and Maya weren’t beautiful, would he still love them? Farkle responds by asking himself: “They are beautiful? Oh yeah. I never really noticed.” That is one of the take away moments from the series. Being in love with someone means that you pass the superficial aspect of it. Of course you find them beautiful because looks count when it comes to love but what distinguishes love from attraction is personality. They are someone you admire, to a degree, for maybe their affection, their kindness, their perseverance. They are someone that you wan't to be around because they bring out the best in you and have many of the qualities you value about yourself. Pursuing someone who you are just physically attracted to but don’t have a connection will not make you happy, the void will not be fill and if that person is who you decide to have a relationship with, then you won’t be happy and it will end as quickly as it started. 

In a different episode Farkle can only take one of them to an event as a date and while neither one of them want to go with him in a romantic sense he shows them why he is worth it. Sure, he is not the most athletic kid in school or the most popular but he is the nicest and most thoughtful. He gives them a rose each with with the invitation letter. Riley, when she was first getting to know Farkle, had a teddy that she won in a fair but had lost recently well Farkle had gone to the fair and won an identical one for her. Maya loved her skateboard and had broken it so Farkle kept it and repaired to give back to her. People with a cynical view of the world would say that they could take advantage of him because clearly he is willing to do anything for them, well I dare to say they are wrong. I have done these types of things that Farkle did because once again it makes them happy and brings them a smile which makes me happy. That desire to do something to make her happy without her ever asking just means I am in love. It may not be reciprocated and it will hurt but in that pain there is still some joy in knowing that you did something to brighten up their day and that they are a part of your life. Feelings may change or someone else may come along that will steal your heart so don’t feel like the world is over. Maya and Riley fight the entire episode to decide which one of them gets to take Farkle to the event. They finally see him the way he sees them. They finally understand all the good qualities he has and they agree to never settle for anyone less than Farkle. Good guys don’t finish last. Be like Farkle, make them fall in love for how nice, kind, taught full you are and if the girl you like so much can’t see that this is the type of person they want to be with well it is their loss. Someone who wants to be with you because of your personality and your values they are worth a shot.

I want to be with someone that when I look into their eyes it takes me to a whole new world, someone who’s smell takes me to a different dimension, who’s voice I never get tired of hearing and who keeps my heart pumping at an accelerated rate. Like Riley, like Farkle fear is sometimes good when it comes to love because it shows us that it is real and in many ways makes us want to be better. One last thing, some may say that we are too young to know what love feels like but we know what we feel. You can feel love at any age and is worth listening to your heart to be happy. If through out the day at random times the face of that person pops into your head, you can't wait to hear their voice, you think about how great she/he is all the time, you are scared of being flawed around them then it is not a crush, you know better than anyone how you feel. Love burns like Smoke and Fire.

"Que la raza, el color, la religion, el genero, ni el estrato social sea un impedimiento para el amor"

Credits:

Sabrina Carpenter Can't Blame a Girl For Trying- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HibDj27DHMI

Diamond and dust

Diamond and dust

The right pressure can turn us into diamonds but the wrong pressure can turn us into dust. This is so true specially when we deal with relationships. When I was in middle school, in high school relationships were so complicated because it was never just about the two people involved, there was always the opinions of friends, the rumours floating around school that influenced how we live our lives and the matters of the heart. No matter who was involved, there was something good and bad to say; to discourage a relationship that is going well or to encourage one that is never meant to be. Either way, pressure from the people around us can be knife to heart. Riley has had a crush on Lucas for the longest time and when they kissed on the metro at the last day of school they both didn’t know what it meant for them. When they got back to school after summer all that everyone could talk about was their relationship, that they should be together, that they shouldn’t, that it will hurt Farkle’s heart, that some girls are jealous of Riley, that some guys want to be Lucas. We have all been in this situation and if you haven’t you will. You would think that all this stops when we get more mature, more grown up and to a point it does, but by being in university I can see that things like this happen regardless of our age. 

We sometimes have too much of an interest in the lives of others and can negatively impact them, in matters of the heart this is often the case. As expected, all this talk about their relationship forces Riley and Lucas to go out on a date even though they are not sure that this is what they want. Their date is one of the most awkward situations they have been in, it usually so easy for them to talk to each other, to go out for a drink but now they are forced to be together when neither of them is ready to accept what they feel. They sit in silence, holding hands but feeling bad about it. Clearly, they are not happy and is all because they didn’t allow themselves to decide on what terms they would move forward but on everybody else’s. Sometimes friends do prevent us from making mistakes, from entering toxic relationships, from falling in love with someone that doesn’t fell the same way. They can also encourage us to follow our heart and try to be happy when we may not have thought about it or done it ourselves. They can help our relationship be a diamond. When helping the people we care about in love and relationships sometimes not giving our opinions is the best way to help at least at the beginning, let them find out what they want and what makes them comfortable.

Riley has always thought that what she wanted was to be with Lucas but when she really thinks about it she loves Lucas as a brother and not in the way she once thought. Because of the pressure of everyone telling them to be together, to make her feelings for Lucas be romantic she took this fraternal love for Lucas and expressed in this way which is why she wasn’t happy when they went out together. We are not able to think by ourselves on such important decisions, to discover what it is that we feel, love is a complicated thing and made even more so when we let other people influence our decisions with rumours, jealousy and agendas. It is your life and happiness ahead of you so make it count, don’t always believe what people say about you or others.